last night

I put together an itenerary that allowed us to go to a xenote, beach and good restaurant all in one go pretty much. wife and mom were really excited for me to go and I did the planning and said we have to leave by 9. well its 9:30 and my wife and I stayed up all night. I said oh well we or I should get some sleep so we can get up early and do this long day. but I was in our bedroom for a long time and eventually checked on her and she’s just still on her tablet and her mom is asleep. couldn’t even come in the room with me. so if she is going to stay up all night why shouldn’t I. we have these stupid Mexican adhd meds which ruined this whole night and im not going to put myself through agony just to make them happy… I told abril what I needed to be able to do it and she was not supportive at all it is all on me and she didnt even talk to me all night. I asked if she wanted to go for a walk or what she’s doing or whatever and I would get non answers. so yeah I stayed up all night like her and then she just plays it off like nothing even though she just said she would walk with me now she’s saying oh lets get ready and go or whatever and its like yo I totally gave you a heads up and was very clear that I’m not going to risk that agony. They feel like they are so compassionate because wifes mom asks how I am and because they got me meds and beer but dont actually listen to what I am saying. I said “when I walk into the sun I feel nauseous and dizzy and I cant handle it” so they are like oh yeah go down to the beach where there are umbrellas. well that was a long ass walk in the sun, is it escaping everyone , are they just ignorant or just sick of dealing with me. im such a pain in the ass having feeling and stuff even though they have feelings and requirements and rush each other and whatever the fuck else but im just a dog except if I was a dog my wife would give me loving attention

I love sitting here in an exotic land by myself. I said that I could stay home so they could enjoy the trip. she knows how much pain I am in or at least has heard it a million times and probably doesn’t believe me. they just speak in spanish and expect I know what the hell is going on or what they have been talking about.