I ask

I ask if when we go see her mom for 8 days, can we please have one day to ourselves? yes of coarse (ok I already touched on this at least) but yes of coarse, we will have a place to ourselves. but I lower my requests over time as I am more and more sure that they are not even close to priority and so I lower what im asking to be not nagging but still remind that id like some time with my wife. yeah yeah well my mom is sleeping on the couch and you have to respect her sleeping even though we dont show you any respect when your sleeping (because I’m a lazy bastard in their eyes).

Way in the past…. baby what about a date night once a week? Or once a month? We could just go to a park, or whatever, even just sit on the roof and have a glass of wine. just want to get some time together where we are not just talking about problems or arguing or complaining or whatever else. some time to enjoy each other. 5 mins a month. did it ever happen? NOooooooooo….. nor was it acknowledged other than I would mention it and she would be like “yeah sure !” or whatever she would say but I would take it as far as I can before I knew I would piss her off. if she wanted to do it she would have.

my sister says “expectations”. expectations like its wrong to have expectations. I see where she is coming from I think that when we have an idea of someone in our head or how things should go, how people should act, then yea expectations are not helpful. what about when we go months without any Time with just me and my wife and all I’m asking for is to put aside some time for us? I dont care how much, where when whatever , I just feel so distant from her. She always agrees and then it just goes no where. I hint, remind, am straight up, whatever. If anything like that happens I have to like guilt or force her which is not on purpose but whatever like I get desperate for some attention, some time with m wife, I don’t get affection but at least some time together.

we just sat on the roof while the sun rose and she was on her tablet doing whatever and I sat there watching her and the sunset with headphones off of my ears, trying to be clear that I am not shutting her out. im just bored as fuck because she hasn’t talked to me in hours. whatever. if she wanted to make time for me she would. I dunno if she just thinks we spend enough time together so who cares .

I care